Florham Park, NJ
Revealing Our Recovery
Getting sober is an intensely personal decision and journey. Tawny and Lisa describe their experiences telling -- and not telling -- other people in their lives about their recovery. From family and friends to work colleagues and the rest of the world, it’s your story to tell, if and when you chose.
How Recovery Changes Over Time
Sobriety is not a static thing. As we move through recovery and get healthier, our feelings about the past, present, and future evolve. We do it differently, but we've both become more accepting and less fearful. And we even hear music differently over time, from Jim Morrison to George Michael to Counting Crows!
Prioritizing Our Recovery
To stay sober, Tawny and Lisa have certain "non-negotiables": things they have to do and make time for no matter how hectic life gets or how comfortable they feel in their recovery. These can include seeing a therapist, going to recovery meetings, meditating, doing yoga, or just taking a nap. They discuss what those non-negotiables are, why they're critical, and how they make time for them.
We're going there. Tawny and Lisa discuss how sex changes in recovery, including dealing with the mental and emotional challenges that come with being sober between the sheets. Intimacy, one-night stands, asking for what you want, vibrators, and much more -- it's all up for discussion this week!
When Sobriety Sucks
Let's be honest. Sometimes sobriety sucks and we have bad days. Tawny and Lisa talk about their different approaches to getting through the tough spots without picking up a drink or a drug. Spoiler alert: there's no one "right" way to do it. With shout outs this week to Keith Richards, Mick Jagger and Gin Blossoms!
Sober Relationships with Family & Friends
Tawny and Lisa talk about how their relationships with friends and family changed when they got sober, in ways both expected and unexpected. Sure, there can be FOMO and challenges, but there are also new ways of engaging that are so much more rewarding than spending just another night in a bar.
Alternative Paths to Recovery
Recovery is an extremely personal journey of self-work. No two people recover in exactly the same way. There are a variety of programs and methods to help people get and stay sober. Tawny and Lisa are happy to use this platform to discuss some of the lesser known options available, acknowledging that there's no "right" or "wrong" way to recover. Whatever works for someone is the perfect path for them.
Lapse vs Relapse
Lisa and Tawny talk through their very different views of Lapses and Relapses in recovery. Tawny shares a nuanced perspective on her personal experience of acting out sexually due to heartbreak and having a nervous breakdown. Despite serious debate about “powerlessness” and other terms, they both agree that smashing the stigma around relapse is essential. There is no shame in anyone’s path to recovery and no two paths are the same.
Self-Care in Sobriety
Taking care of ourselves and taking time out to do it is critical to our recovery. Tawny and Lisa talk about what works for them and how they learned to make self-care part of their lives. From making your bed and opening your mail to watching TV on your couch and taking naps, it all matters. Sex and the CIty, anyone?
Relationships in Recovery
Lisa and Tawny discuss how their interpersonal relationships have changed in recovery. They share personal stories about family dynamics, co-workers, romantic partners, and most importantly...their relationships with themselves. Come for the recovery, stay for the Led Zeppelin music minute!
Coping with Co-Existing Mental Health Issues while in Recovery
It's common to self-medicate mental health issues with substance abuse. Lisa and Tawny did this for years before embracing sobriety. This week they share what their depression and anxiety look like, now, and how they deal with these issues in healthy, productive ways.
Control Issues: We've Got Them
When Tawny and Lisa got sober, these crazy things called "feelings" showed up and they couldn't drink them away. Some of those feelings included regret and shame about the past. Not to mention dealing with grief and "emotional hangovers" while sober. In this episode, they talk about how they deal with these feelings today.
Control Issues: We've Got Them
Tawny and Lisa both struggled with what they could and could not control, including their drinking and drug use. In sobriety, they still face this challenge, but have developed tools, from yoga to practicing acceptance, so they can handle what they can't control without picking up a drink or drug.
Money Matters: Look Back, But Don't Stare
Substance abuse and addiction aren't just bad for your health; they're also terrible for your bank account. Lisa and Tawny blew a lot of money while drinking and using drugs. They have accepted that fact, forgiven themselves, and talk about how they moved forward.
Sobriety vs Recovery: What’s the Difference?
When we put down drugs and alcohol, we learned about the meanings of sobriety (abstaining from certain substances and behaviors) and recovery (working on ourselves to understand why we had the desire to pick up in the first place). But, as with everything on this journey, they mean different things to different people and they can be done in all kinds of ways.
Entertain Us! Our Favorite Recovery Books, Movies, and More
Lisa and Tawny dish on their favorite recovery-related movies, TV shows, books, and blogs. From Mom to Love to Shame to Party Girl to Some Kind of Monster to My Fair Junkie to Slash and Anthony Kiedis's autobiographies, we could go on and on. These works give insight into recovery from all kinds of substances and behaviors from all kinds of perspectives.
Our Other Addictions
When an addict stops drinking or using drugs, their addictive personality typically sticks around, often transferring to other substances or behaviors. Tawny and Lisa open up about other addictions they deal with in sobriety: personal development, self-help books, sugar, work, and more.
People, Places, and Things
A big concept in 12-Step recovery is avoiding the "people, places, and things" that can trigger us or make us uncomfortable. Tawny and Lisa talk through what this concept means and how it can help anyone in recovery, whether or not they are in 12-Step programs.
Allies in Recovery: Asking for Help and Supporting Others
Lisa and Tawny discuss the important role that allies play in the recovery community. They also discuss the parallels between sobriety and being in the LGBTQ+ community. The perpetual coming out, the stigma that keeps us from embracing our true selves, and how allies can help us feel safe.
Lisa and Tawny discuss how sobriety restored their self-esteem and taught them to enjoy being single before they embarked on sober dating. It also helped them figure out what they want and need in a partner and how to communicate honestly with someone new.
Our Relationships to Alcohol and Why We Dumped It
Not everyone's relationship to alcohol is the same. Tawny was a career bartender and social butterfly who rarely drank alone. Lisa was a so-called "high functioning" alcohol abuser who frequently drank alone to numb out. They discuss the similarities and differences of how they finally decided to quit drinking.
Love/Hate relationship with Social Media
Social media. It's the ultimate double-edged sword. It can inspire us and give us community. It can also be toxic and make us feel less than those we see with seemingly "perfect" lives. This week, Tawny and Lisa discuss their love/hate relationship with social media and how they try to navigate its rocky waters.
To 12-Step or Not To 12-Step
There are multiple paths to recovery and which one to take is a hugely personal decision. Lisa got and stays sober through 12-step programs. Tawny got sober blogging and connecting online. In this episode they discuss the pros and cons of both.
Getting Outside Your Comfort Zone
While the "get outside your comfort zone" rhetoric can be helpful at times, Lisa and Tawny discuss the beauty of comfort zones and the important role they play for someone in recovery. They also explore the necessity of self-forgiveness, learning to give yourself grace, and setting boundaries to preserve said comfort zones.
Welcome to Recovery Rocks!
Lisa and Tawny welcome you to the debut episode of Recovery Rocks podcast! Lisa talks about being a lawyer/author in recovery while living in Manhattan. Tawny talks about being a sober blogger/event coordinator in recovery in Manhattan. They also share their opposing opinions on the extremely important topic of The Grateful Dead with John Mayer vs. Jerry Garcia.